Ask Lynn Anything

Tag: writing

  • Discipline

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m a mom who’s stuck between being proud and being upset, and I really need your help. My teenage daughter recently lied to me—and I found out the truth through a roundabout way. Naturally, I was hurt and frustrated by the dishonesty. But when I pressed her, she finally told me why: she was helping a friend who was in a bad home situation.

    Apparently, her friend didn’t feel safe or supported at home, and my daughter stepped in to help her—without telling me. I believe her heart was in the right place, and I’m proud she wanted to protect someone. But I also feel like lying to me sets a dangerous precedent.

    I want to teach her that honesty matters and that I need to be included in serious situations like this. But I don’t want to punish her in a way that makes her feel like helping someone in need was wrong.

    How do I handle this in a way that teaches the importance of trust and honesty, but still supports the compassion she showed?

    Sincerely,
    Torn Between Two Rights

    Dear Torn Between Two Rights,

    First, let me say—you’re raising a daughter with a kind heart and strong values, and that’s something to be proud of. The fact that she went out of her way to help a friend in need shows courage and compassion, and those are qualities we want to nurture in our children.

    At the same time, your concern is valid. Lying—even for a good cause—can have consequences, especially if it involves safety, trust, or important decision-making. The goal here shouldn’t be punishment, but teaching.

    Start by having an honest conversation with her. Let her know how much you admire her empathy and her bravery, but explain why keeping you in the dark could have made things worse—not just for her, but for her friend too. Emphasize that trust goes both ways, and that you’d always want to help in serious situations like this.

    As for consequences, consider something that reinforces responsibility rather than “punishes” her. Maybe she could volunteer some time at a local shelter or youth support group—somewhere she can channel that same helpful energy, but within safe boundaries and with adult guidance. It’s a way to connect values with action, while still reinforcing the importance of honesty.

    You’re not stuck between right and wrong—you’re guiding your daughter through a complex situation with love and wisdom. That’s parenting at its finest.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn

  • Worried Sister

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need help deciding whether or not I should tell my sister something that could really hurt her — but also maybe protect her.

    A few days ago, I was out on a lunch date and saw my sister’s boyfriend kissing another woman. It wasn’t just a friendly hug or goodbye — it was a romantic kiss. I was shocked. My sister has no idea, and she’s very serious about him. She talks about marrying him and having children with him. She honestly believes he’s “the one.”

    Even before I saw him cheating, I had a bad feeling about him. I’ve even tried to hint to her that I don’t fully trust him, but she brushed it off. I’m scared that if I tell her what I saw, she’ll be heartbroken — and possibly mad at me for saying anything. I don’t want her to think I’m just trying to ruin her happiness.

    But I also feel sick keeping this to myself. I want to protect her. I love her and don’t want her to build a future with someone who might betray her like this.

    Should I tell her what I saw? And if so, how can I do it in a way that doesn’t destroy our relationship?

    Sincerely,
    Torn and Worried Sister

    Dear Torn and Worried Sister,

    You’re in an incredibly tough spot, and I truly feel for you. It’s painful to carry the weight of something that could change your sister’s life — and your relationship with her — forever.

    First, you’re a good sister for caring this much. You’ve already tried to protect her, even before you saw him cheating, which says a lot about your instincts. Now that you’ve seen him being unfaithful with your own eyes, your concern is no longer just a feeling — it’s fact.

    Yes, you should tell her.

    She might be hurt, and she might even be angry at first. That’s a risk. But the truth is, she deserves to know what kind of man she’s planning a future with. Staying silent to protect her happiness now could lead to much greater pain later. If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want her to tell you?

    When you do tell her, try to come from a place of love, not judgment. You could say something like: “I need to tell you something that’s hard, and I’m only telling you because I love you and I want what’s best for you. I saw [his name] kissing another woman at lunch the other day. I didn’t want to believe it, but I saw it with my own eyes. I’ve been struggling with how to tell you, but I knew keeping it from you wasn’t right.”

    Let her process it. She may cry. She may get mad. But in time, she’ll remember who told her the truth — and why.

    Sometimes love looks like bravery. You’re already showing it.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn

  • Relationship Worry

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    There’s someone in my class that I’ve liked for a while now. We talk sometimes—nothing super deep, but enough that I get really happy when they’re around. They’re kind, funny, and easy to be around, which just makes my feelings stronger. The thing is, I can’t tell if they like me back or if they’re just being friendly. I overthink every little thing they say or do, trying to find clues.

    I really want to tell them how I feel, but I’m scared of ruining the friendship we’ve started to build. What if they don’t feel the same and things get awkward between us? I don’t want to push them away or make them uncomfortable. But at the same time, keeping this all inside is driving me crazy. I think about them constantly and feel like I’m stuck in this weird emotional limbo.

    Do you think it’s better to just be honest and get it off my chest, even if it risks the friendship? Or should I wait and try to enjoy what we have now without adding pressure? I’m torn between wanting clarity and fearing rejection. Any advice would really help.
    – Confused and Crushing

    Dear Confused and Crushing,

    Thank you for sharing your heart—it’s clear how much this person means to you, and your honesty is really brave. Having a crush can feel exciting and overwhelming all at once, especially when you’re unsure what the other person feels.

    It sounds like you’ve built a sweet connection already, which is a great foundation. If you feel safe and ready, gently being honest about your feelings could bring relief and clarity. You don’t have to make a grand confession—just something simple like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and I think I might like you as more than a friend. I don’t want to make things weird, but I wanted to be honest.”

    That way, you share your truth while still being respectful of their feelings and space.

    If you’re not quite ready, that’s okay too. You can keep spending time together and see if their actions give you more clues. Sometimes feelings become clearer with time.

    There’s no “right” choice here—only what feels most true to you. Whether you speak up now or wait a little, you’re doing great by being thoughtful and kind.

    Wishing you courage and clarity,
    Ask Lynn

  • Confused but Hopeful

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m at a crossroads in my life and could really use some guidance.

    Right now, I work in an office, but I feel unfulfilled and daydream about doing something that excites me. I’ve been thinking about changing careers, but I’m overwhelmed by all the options—and the fear of making the wrong choice.

    Here are some paths I’m considering:

    • Becoming a veterinarian, because I truly love dogs and animals in general.
    • Owning an event venue, since planning and hosting events sounds fun and fulfilling.
    • Becoming a tattoo artist—I’ve always been creative, and the idea of doing something artistic and personal is exciting.
    • Creating a career that lets me work from home and make my own hours.
    • And honestly, sometimes I just want to be a stay-at-home housewife and take care of my husband and dogs. That sounds peaceful and rewarding too.

    The problem is, I don’t know how to figure out which path is truly right for me. I don’t want to regret my decision later or feel like I wasted time chasing the wrong dream.

    How do I choose? How can I be sure I’m making the right move, and not just running from boredom?

    Thank you for your time and wisdom.
    Sincerely,
    Confused But Hopeful

    Dear Confused But Hopeful,

    First, let me say—your letter is more common than you might think. So many people reach a point where they ask, “Is this it?” and wonder what else is out there. You’re not lost—you’re exploring, and that’s brave.

    The great news is, your interests all reflect important values: love for animals, creativity, fun, freedom, and care for your home life. The tricky part is that you’re pulled in several directions, and that can feel paralyzing.

    Here’s how to start making it clearer:

    1. Try on the dreams—without a huge commitment.
    Volunteer at an animal shelter or shadow a vet. Take a tattooing or art class. Help a friend plan a party or intern at an event space. These small steps can give you real insight without big risk.

    2. Pay attention to energy.
    What excites you? What drains you? After exploring, notice how each idea feels—not just in your head, but in your body. The right path often brings a quiet sense of “yes.”

    3. You don’t have to pick one dream forever.
    Careers today aren’t like they used to be—you can have multiple chapters. Maybe you start working from home, and later build a creative business. Maybe you’re a stay-at-home wife for a while, then go back to school for vet tech training. It’s not all or nothing.

    4. Get honest about fear.
    Are you unsure because you don’t know what you want—or because you’re scared to leave the comfort zone? There’s a difference. Get curious about what’s underneath your hesitation.

    5. Talk it out with your partner.
    Since staying home is one of your options, make sure you and your husband are on the same page emotionally and financially.

    You won’t regret taking the time to explore. The only regret comes from staying stuck out of fear. You already have the most important thing: a hopeful heart. Now, give yourself permission to take small steps forward.

    Rooting for you,
    Ask Lynn

  • Trying to Move On

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m reaching out because I’m struggling with finding love again after a painful chapter in my life. I went through a very difficult divorce after being in an emotionally abusive relationship. It’s been a long road of healing, and while I’ve made progress, I still find it hard to trust others—and even harder to believe I’m worthy of love again.

    I have children, and they are my world. They’ve been through a lot, and I want to protect them, which makes dating even more complicated. I don’t know when the “right” time is to introduce someone new into their lives, or how much I should share about my past when I meet someone. I don’t want to scare anyone away or let my history define me, but I also don’t want to hide what I’ve been through.

    To make things even harder, my ex continues to cause issues whenever I try to move forward. They make it uncomfortable or complicated if they hear I’m seeing someone, and that creates even more anxiety and fear about dating.

    How do I know when I’m ready to date again? How can I begin to trust someone new when I still doubt myself? And how do I navigate dating with kids and a difficult ex in the picture?

    Any advice would mean the world.

    Sincerely,
    Trying to Move On

    Dear Trying to Move On,

    First, I want to say how deeply sorry I am for what you’ve been through—and how proud I am of you for surviving it and still believing in the possibility of love. That takes strength. Truly.

    Healing from an abusive relationship, especially with children and a toxic ex still in the picture, is not a straight path. It’s messy. It takes time. And there is no perfect formula. But there is hope—and you are not broken or unlovable. You are still worthy, even with scars. Especially with scars. They tell the story of your courage.

    Here’s what I want to offer:

    1. You don’t need to rush. There’s no “right” time to start dating again—only your time. If you’re unsure, try asking yourself: Do I want someone to fill a gap, or am I ready to share myself with someone new? If it’s the second one, even with fear in your heart, you might be more ready than you think.

    2. Trust takes practice, not perfection. Start small. If you meet someone, pay more attention to how they make you feel. Do you feel heard? Safe? Calm? That’s more important than chemistry alone. Trust can’t be forced—but it can grow.

    3. Your story is yours to share—but not all at once. You don’t need to give your whole past on the first few dates. You can say, “I’ve been through some hard things, and I’m open to sharing more when the time is right.” The right person will respect that and won’t pressure you.

    4. Kids come into the picture slowly. Your instinct to protect them is exactly right. Most experts recommend waiting at least a few months into a serious relationship before making introductions—after you’ve had time to see if the person aligns with your values and can show consistency.

    5. Your ex’s behavior is not your responsibility. Yes, they may try to sabotage your happiness. But that doesn’t mean you have to give them that power. Make your boundaries clear. Keep records if needed. And do not let their anger write your future.

    Above all: You are allowed to love and be loved again. You are allowed to have joy, connection, and a peaceful home. You’ve given your kids a safe space already—and now you deserve the same.

    With all my heart, I believe that love—real, healthy love—is still ahead for you.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn