Ask Lynn Anything

Tag: parenting

  • Discipline

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m a mom who’s stuck between being proud and being upset, and I really need your help. My teenage daughter recently lied to me—and I found out the truth through a roundabout way. Naturally, I was hurt and frustrated by the dishonesty. But when I pressed her, she finally told me why: she was helping a friend who was in a bad home situation.

    Apparently, her friend didn’t feel safe or supported at home, and my daughter stepped in to help her—without telling me. I believe her heart was in the right place, and I’m proud she wanted to protect someone. But I also feel like lying to me sets a dangerous precedent.

    I want to teach her that honesty matters and that I need to be included in serious situations like this. But I don’t want to punish her in a way that makes her feel like helping someone in need was wrong.

    How do I handle this in a way that teaches the importance of trust and honesty, but still supports the compassion she showed?

    Sincerely,
    Torn Between Two Rights

    Dear Torn Between Two Rights,

    First, let me say—you’re raising a daughter with a kind heart and strong values, and that’s something to be proud of. The fact that she went out of her way to help a friend in need shows courage and compassion, and those are qualities we want to nurture in our children.

    At the same time, your concern is valid. Lying—even for a good cause—can have consequences, especially if it involves safety, trust, or important decision-making. The goal here shouldn’t be punishment, but teaching.

    Start by having an honest conversation with her. Let her know how much you admire her empathy and her bravery, but explain why keeping you in the dark could have made things worse—not just for her, but for her friend too. Emphasize that trust goes both ways, and that you’d always want to help in serious situations like this.

    As for consequences, consider something that reinforces responsibility rather than “punishes” her. Maybe she could volunteer some time at a local shelter or youth support group—somewhere she can channel that same helpful energy, but within safe boundaries and with adult guidance. It’s a way to connect values with action, while still reinforcing the importance of honesty.

    You’re not stuck between right and wrong—you’re guiding your daughter through a complex situation with love and wisdom. That’s parenting at its finest.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn

  • Secret, Surgery and Trust

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need help with a secret that’s eating me up inside.

    From the outside, I have the dream life. I’m married to a wonderful man, we have two beautiful children, a cozy farm filled with animals, and a life I share online as an influencer. I love our home, our rhythm, and everything we’ve built together. I truly do.

    But there’s something I’ve kept hidden — even from my husband. A while back, I got an IUD. I didn’t tell him because I knew he wanted more children, and I wasn’t ready for that. In truth, I don’t think I want any more. I felt that if I told him, it would crush him, or worse, cause cracks in our perfect life. So I just… kept it to myself.

    Now things have gotten complicated. The IUD has caused an infection in my uterus, and I’ve been told I need surgery. I feel like my secret is about to blow up everything — my marriage, my brand, my image. I’m terrified that my husband will see this as a betrayal. I’m scared my followers — who trust me and think I live this honest, wholesome life — will see me as a fraud.

    I feel stuck between the truth and the life I’ve worked so hard to protect. How do I tell my husband without losing his trust? And how do I face the people who follow me and believe in me, when I haven’t been fully honest?

    Please help. I don’t want to lose everything I love.

    — Torn Behind the Smile

    Dear Torn Behind the Smile,

    First, take a deep breath. You are not a fraud — you’re human. A woman trying to protect the life she loves, even if it meant making a hard choice in silence. That doesn’t make you a bad wife, mother, or person. It makes you real.

    Let’s start with your husband. Marriage is built on trust, and right now, that trust has a crack — not because you don’t love him, but because you were afraid. You feared that honesty would cost you happiness. But silence has its own price, and you’re paying it with guilt, pain, and fear.

    He deserves the truth. Not just about the IUD, but also about your fear of having more children. Tell him with your heart wide open. “I was scared. I thought I’d lose you or disappoint you. I made a choice to protect myself and our family, but I didn’t handle it the right way.” Let him see that this wasn’t done against him — it was about your own boundaries and health.

    As for your followers: you built a platform on sharing your life, not your perfection. Being vulnerable now may actually deepen their trust, not destroy it. You don’t owe them every detail, but you can say, “I’m going through something personal involving my health and womanhood. I’ve learned a lot about fear and truth, and I’ll share more when I’m ready.” You’d be surprised how many women will feel seen and supported because of your honesty.

    Finally, about losing everything: You might lose some people. But not the ones who matter — not the ones who truly care about you, the whole, beautiful, imperfect you.

    You haven’t ruined your life. You’ve reached a crossroads. And being brave now can bring healing not just to your body, but to your heart, your marriage, and your soul.

    With love and truth,
    — Ask Lynn

  • Breastfeeding in Public

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m a new mom, and something happened recently that left me shocked and confused. I went out to eat at a restaurant with my baby. While we were there, my baby got hungry, so I breastfed him. I was fully covered the entire time — no breast was showing at all.

    A few minutes later, the manager came over and said some customers had complained. He asked me to stop or leave. I tried to calmly explain that I have the legal right to breastfeed my baby, especially since I was covered and discreet. But he insisted that he “has the right to refuse service to anyone” and said I needed to go.

    I was humiliated and left in tears.

    I thought I was doing the right thing — feeding my baby when he needed it, in a respectful way. I didn’t make a scene. I wasn’t trying to offend anyone. I don’t understand how something as natural and necessary as feeding a child can make people uncomfortable.

    What should I do? Do I report this? Speak out? Or just let it go?

    Sincerely,
    Shamed for Feeding My Baby

    Dear Shamed for Feeding My Baby,

    First, I’m so sorry you went through that. What happened to you was not just humiliating — it was wrong.

    You are absolutely within your rights. In most U.S. states (and many countries), it is 100% legal to breastfeed in public — covered or not. You were feeding your baby in a respectful, discreet manner, and you should not have been asked to leave.

    The manager was misinformed. Yes, businesses can refuse service in some cases, but not when it involves discrimination — and forcing a mother out for breastfeeding is exactly that.

    You have options:

    1. File a complaint. Contact the restaurant’s corporate office or owner. Let them know what happened and that you felt discriminated against.
    2. Report it. Many states have civil rights divisions where you can report incidents like this. A local breastfeeding advocacy group or La Leche League chapter may also help guide you.
    3. Share your story. If you feel up to it, speaking out — whether in a review, on social media, or in a letter to the editor — can help raise awareness and protect other moms.
    4. Know you did nothing wrong. Your baby needed to eat. You fed them with love and care. You don’t owe anyone an apology for that.

    You were not “shamed for feeding your baby” — you were brave. And every time a mother stands up for this right, it helps break down stigma a little more.

    With support and solidarity,
    — Ask Lynn

  • Family Issue

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    Lately, I’ve been feeling like my parents just don’t get me. When I try to talk to them about what I’m going through—like stress from school or feeling anxious—they either change the subject, make jokes, or tell me I’m overthinking everything. It’s frustrating because I’m not trying to be dramatic—I just want to feel heard and understood.

    The more they brush me off, the less I want to open up. I keep things to myself now because I feel like there’s no point. But deep down, I still wish I could have a closer relationship with them. I see other people who can talk to their parents like friends, and I wish I had that too. I don’t want to shut them out, but I also don’t want to keep feeling ignored.

    How can I help them understand how serious this is for me? I want to find a way to talk to them that won’t lead to eye-rolls or quick dismissals. Is there a better way to get them to listen and maybe even start a real conversation?
    – Feeling Unheard

    Dear Feeling Unheard,

    Thank you for opening up—it takes a lot of courage to share how you’re feeling. You’re not being dramatic at all. What you’re experiencing is real and important, and you deserve to feel heard and supported.

    It sounds like your parents might not fully understand what you’re going through, maybe because they don’t know how to respond or think they’re helping by downplaying it. But your feelings matter, and it’s okay to want a deeper connection.

    One idea is to pick a calm moment—when no one’s stressed or distracted—and gently let them know how their reactions affect you. You might say something like, “I know you care about me, but when I open up and feel brushed off, it makes me want to shut down. I’m not looking for fixes—I just need to feel like you hear me.”

    You could even write them a letter if talking feels too hard. Sometimes people listen better when they can read without the pressure of reacting right away.

    Also, is there another adult you trust—like a teacher, counselor, or family friend—who might help you express your feelings or guide a conversation with your parents? You’re not alone, and there are people who can help bridge the gap.

    Don’t give up on that closer relationship. Change can be slow, but small, honest steps can open doors.

    You’re doing your best—and that’s something to be proud of.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn

  • Worried Parent

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m reaching out as a concerned parent. My child is being bullied at school, and it’s affecting their emotional well-being and confidence. They come home sad, withdrawn, and sometimes even afraid to go back.

    We’ve reported the bullying to the school multiple times, but their response has been slow and ineffective. It feels like they are brushing it off or waiting for it to resolve on its own. Meanwhile, my child continues to suffer.

    I want to support and protect my child, but I’m not sure what else to do when the school isn’t taking stronger action. Should I escalate the issue, and if so, how? What can I do at home to help my child feel safe and empowered?

    I would really appreciate your guidance.

    Sincerely,
    A Worried Parent

    Dear Worried Parent,

    First, I want to say how sorry I am that your child is going through this. No child should feel unsafe at school, and no parent should feel helpless when trying to protect them.

    You’ve already taken the important first step by reporting the bullying. Since the school hasn’t responded effectively, here’s what I suggest:

    1. Document Everything – Keep a record of all incidents: dates, what happened, who was involved, and how the school responded. This will help if you need to take the issue further.
    2. Follow Up in Writing – Send a formal letter or email to the school principal. Be clear, respectful, and firm. Ask what specific actions they plan to take and request a written response.
    3. Escalate if Needed – If the school continues to be unhelpful, contact the school district, school board, or even the state education department. Every child has the right to a safe learning environment.
    4. Support Your Child at Home – Let your child know you believe them and that none of this is their fault. Help them build confidence through positive activities and remind them they are not alone.
    5. Consider Counseling – A counselor or therapist can help your child process what they’re experiencing and give them tools to cope.

    Your advocacy is powerful. Don’t give up. You’re doing the right thing by standing up for your child—and that matters more than anything.

    With care,

    Ask Lynn

  • Frustrated Parent

    Frustrated Parent

    Dear Ask Lynn-

    I’m struggling with my teenage son, and I’m at a loss. He asks for my advice, but when I give it, he ignores it or does the opposite. He constantly pushes boundaries and acts like he’s already an adult who can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants—without any consequences.

    I try to talk to him calmly, but he either shuts down or argues. It feels like he just wants me to agree with him, not actually guide him. I want to keep our relationship strong, but I also need him to understand that actions have consequences and that I’m still his parent, not just a friend.

    How can I reach him without driving a bigger wedge between us? Is there a way to get through to a teen who thinks he already knows everything?

    Sincerely,

    Frustrated Parent

    Dear Frustrated Parent,

    First, you’re not alone. Many parents hit this wall during the teenage years. Teens are wired to push for independence—it’s part of becoming an adult. But it’s frustrating when they ask for advice only to ignore it.

    Here are a few things that might help:

    1. Shift from Lecturing to Listening: Instead of giving advice right away, ask him what he thinks first. Say something like, “What do you think you should do?” It builds trust and helps him learn decision-making.
    2. Pick Your Battles: If it’s not dangerous or harmful, let him make a few mistakes. Natural consequences are powerful teachers. It’s tough, but sometimes they learn more from failure than warnings.
    3. Set Boundaries, Not Control: Make sure the rules you set are clear, fair, and consistent. Teens still need limits—they just don’t want to feel controlled.
    4. Stay Calm: When he argues or shuts down, don’t match his energy. Stay calm. Let him know the door is always open to talk, even if he walks away now.
    5. Keep the Connection Strong: Find small, non-confrontational ways to connect—watch a show together, grab food, or talk about his interests. A strong relationship is the foundation for future influence.

    You’re doing more right than you think. Keep showing up with love and firmness. He may not say it now, but he hears you more than you realize.

    Warmly,

    Ask Lynn