Ask Lynn Anything

Tag: mental-health

  • Life Decisions

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    Graduation is coming up fast, and I feel completely lost. Everyone around me seems to have a clear plan—college, jobs, or some big dream they’re chasing. Meanwhile, I’m stuck trying to figure out what I even want. Some days I think I should take a gap year, other days I panic that I’ll fall behind if I don’t jump into something right away.

    I feel this pressure to “figure it all out” before time runs out, but I don’t feel ready. There are so many paths, and none of them feel completely right. I’m scared of choosing the wrong thing, but also scared of doing nothing and watching everyone else move on without me. The fear of falling behind is real.

    What can I do to start figuring out what direction to go? How do I stop comparing myself to others and find my own path? I want to feel excited about the future, but right now it just feels overwhelming.
    – Lost in the Crowd

    Dear Lost in the Crowd,
    First of all, take a deep breath. You’re not falling behind—you’re figuring things out, and that’s actually a brave thing to do. Despite what it may feel like, so many people are in the same boat. They might look like they’ve got it all together, but behind the scenes, they’re just as uncertain and nervous as you are. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no one “right” path to follow.

    It’s okay not to have a five-year plan. The important thing right now is to get curious about yourself. What excites you? What makes you feel alive, even just a little? Explore different interests, volunteer, take a class, travel if you can, or try a part-time job in something you’re mildly curious about. Sometimes the right path doesn’t show up until you take the first step, even if it’s a small one.

    You don’t have to rush. Let yourself try, fail, grow, and change. It’s all part of the process. Be kind to yourself and trust that not knowing everything right now is perfectly okay. You are not lost—you’re just beginning your journey, and that’s a powerful place to be.
    – Ask Lynn

  • School/Work Stress

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    I’m really struggling with keeping up with everything right now. Between school, homework, and a part-time job, I barely have time to sleep, let alone relax or hang out with friends. I’m trying so hard to do it all, but it’s starting to feel impossible. My grades are slipping, I’m always tired, and I’m feeling completely burnt out.

    I took the job to help pay for things and save for the future, so quitting doesn’t feel like an option. But I’m starting to wonder if the stress is worth it. I’ve tried making schedules and being more organized, but there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to fit everything in. I’m falling behind in school and losing my energy and motivation.

    How do I find a balance between responsibilities and my own well-being? I don’t want to let anyone down, but I also know I can’t keep living like this. I need some advice on how to manage my time and maybe find a healthier way to handle everything.
    – Overwhelmed Teen

    Dear Overwhelmed Teen,

    First, thank you for being so honest—what you’re feeling is completely valid. It sounds like you’re doing your best, and that matters more than you know.

    Trying to juggle school, a job, and life is a huge load, especially at your age. Burnout happens when you push yourself too hard for too long. It’s okay to admit that something has to give.

    Start by asking yourself what’s most important right now. Is there any way to reduce your work hours, even a little? Could you talk to your boss, a teacher, or a school counselor about how much you’re handling?

    You’re not failing—you’re human. You need rest to succeed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, set boundaries, and say no to extra things that aren’t essential.

    Remember, your well-being is a responsibility too. You deserve time to breathe, sleep, and smile.

    You’re not alone in this.

    – Ask Lynn

  • Family Issue

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    Lately, I’ve been feeling like my parents just don’t get me. When I try to talk to them about what I’m going through—like stress from school or feeling anxious—they either change the subject, make jokes, or tell me I’m overthinking everything. It’s frustrating because I’m not trying to be dramatic—I just want to feel heard and understood.

    The more they brush me off, the less I want to open up. I keep things to myself now because I feel like there’s no point. But deep down, I still wish I could have a closer relationship with them. I see other people who can talk to their parents like friends, and I wish I had that too. I don’t want to shut them out, but I also don’t want to keep feeling ignored.

    How can I help them understand how serious this is for me? I want to find a way to talk to them that won’t lead to eye-rolls or quick dismissals. Is there a better way to get them to listen and maybe even start a real conversation?
    – Feeling Unheard

    Dear Feeling Unheard,

    Thank you for opening up—it takes a lot of courage to share how you’re feeling. You’re not being dramatic at all. What you’re experiencing is real and important, and you deserve to feel heard and supported.

    It sounds like your parents might not fully understand what you’re going through, maybe because they don’t know how to respond or think they’re helping by downplaying it. But your feelings matter, and it’s okay to want a deeper connection.

    One idea is to pick a calm moment—when no one’s stressed or distracted—and gently let them know how their reactions affect you. You might say something like, “I know you care about me, but when I open up and feel brushed off, it makes me want to shut down. I’m not looking for fixes—I just need to feel like you hear me.”

    You could even write them a letter if talking feels too hard. Sometimes people listen better when they can read without the pressure of reacting right away.

    Also, is there another adult you trust—like a teacher, counselor, or family friend—who might help you express your feelings or guide a conversation with your parents? You’re not alone, and there are people who can help bridge the gap.

    Don’t give up on that closer relationship. Change can be slow, but small, honest steps can open doors.

    You’re doing your best—and that’s something to be proud of.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn

  • Spicing Things Up

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m hoping you can help me with something that’s been on my mind. I’ve been married for several years now, and I really do love my husband deeply. We have a good relationship, and our sex life has always been satisfying, but lately I’ve been wondering how to spice things up.

    The thing is—I’ve never been someone who ventures too far outside my comfort zone. I’ve always been pretty traditional when it comes to intimacy. But my husband makes me feel safe and adventurous in a way I never expected. I’ve been surprised to find myself enjoying new things I never thought I would. It’s opened a whole new world for me, but at the same time, I don’t always know where to go from here.

    When I watch movies or TV shows, everything looks so exciting and perfect—but I know real life isn’t like that. Still, I can tell my husband enjoys exploring and trying new things, and I want to keep that connection strong. I just don’t know what to do next. I’m open to ideas, but I don’t really know what all is even out there.

    How can I keep our sex life exciting and fresh, while still staying true to myself? I want to grow and explore with him, but sometimes I feel unsure or inexperienced.

    Any advice?

    —Curious but Cautious

    Dear Curious but Cautious,

    First of all, thank you for your openness. You’ve already done something brave by putting your feelings into words—and that says a lot about your willingness to grow, especially with someone you love and trust.

    It’s beautiful that your husband makes you feel safe enough to explore. That’s the kind of connection many couples hope for. You’re not alone in feeling uncertain when it comes to trying new things. Intimacy can be exciting, but also vulnerable—and that’s okay.

    Here’s the good news: you don’t need a checklist of “spicy” ideas to be a great partner. The real magic happens when both people are curious, communicative, and respectful of each other’s limits and desires. Since you’re already enjoying trying new things, start small. Share fantasies (even silly ones), try a new setting or mood, play a light game that encourages flirtation. You don’t have to dive into anything extreme to keep things fresh.

    And don’t worry about matching what you see on TV or in movies—that’s scripted, edited, and not always realistic. What matters is what feels fun and real for you two. If you ever feel unsure, just talk to your husband about it. You might be surprised how open and understanding he’ll be—and how many ideas you can come up with together.

    Let this be a journey you take hand-in-hand, with laughter, tenderness, and permission to figure things out as you go.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn

  • Confused but Hopeful

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m at a crossroads in my life and could really use some guidance.

    Right now, I work in an office, but I feel unfulfilled and daydream about doing something that excites me. I’ve been thinking about changing careers, but I’m overwhelmed by all the options—and the fear of making the wrong choice.

    Here are some paths I’m considering:

    • Becoming a veterinarian, because I truly love dogs and animals in general.
    • Owning an event venue, since planning and hosting events sounds fun and fulfilling.
    • Becoming a tattoo artist—I’ve always been creative, and the idea of doing something artistic and personal is exciting.
    • Creating a career that lets me work from home and make my own hours.
    • And honestly, sometimes I just want to be a stay-at-home housewife and take care of my husband and dogs. That sounds peaceful and rewarding too.

    The problem is, I don’t know how to figure out which path is truly right for me. I don’t want to regret my decision later or feel like I wasted time chasing the wrong dream.

    How do I choose? How can I be sure I’m making the right move, and not just running from boredom?

    Thank you for your time and wisdom.
    Sincerely,
    Confused But Hopeful

    Dear Confused But Hopeful,

    First, let me say—your letter is more common than you might think. So many people reach a point where they ask, “Is this it?” and wonder what else is out there. You’re not lost—you’re exploring, and that’s brave.

    The great news is, your interests all reflect important values: love for animals, creativity, fun, freedom, and care for your home life. The tricky part is that you’re pulled in several directions, and that can feel paralyzing.

    Here’s how to start making it clearer:

    1. Try on the dreams—without a huge commitment.
    Volunteer at an animal shelter or shadow a vet. Take a tattooing or art class. Help a friend plan a party or intern at an event space. These small steps can give you real insight without big risk.

    2. Pay attention to energy.
    What excites you? What drains you? After exploring, notice how each idea feels—not just in your head, but in your body. The right path often brings a quiet sense of “yes.”

    3. You don’t have to pick one dream forever.
    Careers today aren’t like they used to be—you can have multiple chapters. Maybe you start working from home, and later build a creative business. Maybe you’re a stay-at-home wife for a while, then go back to school for vet tech training. It’s not all or nothing.

    4. Get honest about fear.
    Are you unsure because you don’t know what you want—or because you’re scared to leave the comfort zone? There’s a difference. Get curious about what’s underneath your hesitation.

    5. Talk it out with your partner.
    Since staying home is one of your options, make sure you and your husband are on the same page emotionally and financially.

    You won’t regret taking the time to explore. The only regret comes from staying stuck out of fear. You already have the most important thing: a hopeful heart. Now, give yourself permission to take small steps forward.

    Rooting for you,
    Ask Lynn

  • Trying to Move On

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m reaching out because I’m struggling with finding love again after a painful chapter in my life. I went through a very difficult divorce after being in an emotionally abusive relationship. It’s been a long road of healing, and while I’ve made progress, I still find it hard to trust others—and even harder to believe I’m worthy of love again.

    I have children, and they are my world. They’ve been through a lot, and I want to protect them, which makes dating even more complicated. I don’t know when the “right” time is to introduce someone new into their lives, or how much I should share about my past when I meet someone. I don’t want to scare anyone away or let my history define me, but I also don’t want to hide what I’ve been through.

    To make things even harder, my ex continues to cause issues whenever I try to move forward. They make it uncomfortable or complicated if they hear I’m seeing someone, and that creates even more anxiety and fear about dating.

    How do I know when I’m ready to date again? How can I begin to trust someone new when I still doubt myself? And how do I navigate dating with kids and a difficult ex in the picture?

    Any advice would mean the world.

    Sincerely,
    Trying to Move On

    Dear Trying to Move On,

    First, I want to say how deeply sorry I am for what you’ve been through—and how proud I am of you for surviving it and still believing in the possibility of love. That takes strength. Truly.

    Healing from an abusive relationship, especially with children and a toxic ex still in the picture, is not a straight path. It’s messy. It takes time. And there is no perfect formula. But there is hope—and you are not broken or unlovable. You are still worthy, even with scars. Especially with scars. They tell the story of your courage.

    Here’s what I want to offer:

    1. You don’t need to rush. There’s no “right” time to start dating again—only your time. If you’re unsure, try asking yourself: Do I want someone to fill a gap, or am I ready to share myself with someone new? If it’s the second one, even with fear in your heart, you might be more ready than you think.

    2. Trust takes practice, not perfection. Start small. If you meet someone, pay more attention to how they make you feel. Do you feel heard? Safe? Calm? That’s more important than chemistry alone. Trust can’t be forced—but it can grow.

    3. Your story is yours to share—but not all at once. You don’t need to give your whole past on the first few dates. You can say, “I’ve been through some hard things, and I’m open to sharing more when the time is right.” The right person will respect that and won’t pressure you.

    4. Kids come into the picture slowly. Your instinct to protect them is exactly right. Most experts recommend waiting at least a few months into a serious relationship before making introductions—after you’ve had time to see if the person aligns with your values and can show consistency.

    5. Your ex’s behavior is not your responsibility. Yes, they may try to sabotage your happiness. But that doesn’t mean you have to give them that power. Make your boundaries clear. Keep records if needed. And do not let their anger write your future.

    Above all: You are allowed to love and be loved again. You are allowed to have joy, connection, and a peaceful home. You’ve given your kids a safe space already—and now you deserve the same.

    With all my heart, I believe that love—real, healthy love—is still ahead for you.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn

  • Worried Parent

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m reaching out as a concerned parent. My child is being bullied at school, and it’s affecting their emotional well-being and confidence. They come home sad, withdrawn, and sometimes even afraid to go back.

    We’ve reported the bullying to the school multiple times, but their response has been slow and ineffective. It feels like they are brushing it off or waiting for it to resolve on its own. Meanwhile, my child continues to suffer.

    I want to support and protect my child, but I’m not sure what else to do when the school isn’t taking stronger action. Should I escalate the issue, and if so, how? What can I do at home to help my child feel safe and empowered?

    I would really appreciate your guidance.

    Sincerely,
    A Worried Parent

    Dear Worried Parent,

    First, I want to say how sorry I am that your child is going through this. No child should feel unsafe at school, and no parent should feel helpless when trying to protect them.

    You’ve already taken the important first step by reporting the bullying. Since the school hasn’t responded effectively, here’s what I suggest:

    1. Document Everything – Keep a record of all incidents: dates, what happened, who was involved, and how the school responded. This will help if you need to take the issue further.
    2. Follow Up in Writing – Send a formal letter or email to the school principal. Be clear, respectful, and firm. Ask what specific actions they plan to take and request a written response.
    3. Escalate if Needed – If the school continues to be unhelpful, contact the school district, school board, or even the state education department. Every child has the right to a safe learning environment.
    4. Support Your Child at Home – Let your child know you believe them and that none of this is their fault. Help them build confidence through positive activities and remind them they are not alone.
    5. Consider Counseling – A counselor or therapist can help your child process what they’re experiencing and give them tools to cope.

    Your advocacy is powerful. Don’t give up. You’re doing the right thing by standing up for your child—and that matters more than anything.

    With care,

    Ask Lynn

  • Frustrated Parent

    Frustrated Parent

    Dear Ask Lynn-

    I’m struggling with my teenage son, and I’m at a loss. He asks for my advice, but when I give it, he ignores it or does the opposite. He constantly pushes boundaries and acts like he’s already an adult who can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants—without any consequences.

    I try to talk to him calmly, but he either shuts down or argues. It feels like he just wants me to agree with him, not actually guide him. I want to keep our relationship strong, but I also need him to understand that actions have consequences and that I’m still his parent, not just a friend.

    How can I reach him without driving a bigger wedge between us? Is there a way to get through to a teen who thinks he already knows everything?

    Sincerely,

    Frustrated Parent

    Dear Frustrated Parent,

    First, you’re not alone. Many parents hit this wall during the teenage years. Teens are wired to push for independence—it’s part of becoming an adult. But it’s frustrating when they ask for advice only to ignore it.

    Here are a few things that might help:

    1. Shift from Lecturing to Listening: Instead of giving advice right away, ask him what he thinks first. Say something like, “What do you think you should do?” It builds trust and helps him learn decision-making.
    2. Pick Your Battles: If it’s not dangerous or harmful, let him make a few mistakes. Natural consequences are powerful teachers. It’s tough, but sometimes they learn more from failure than warnings.
    3. Set Boundaries, Not Control: Make sure the rules you set are clear, fair, and consistent. Teens still need limits—they just don’t want to feel controlled.
    4. Stay Calm: When he argues or shuts down, don’t match his energy. Stay calm. Let him know the door is always open to talk, even if he walks away now.
    5. Keep the Connection Strong: Find small, non-confrontational ways to connect—watch a show together, grab food, or talk about his interests. A strong relationship is the foundation for future influence.

    You’re doing more right than you think. Keep showing up with love and firmness. He may not say it now, but he hears you more than you realize.

    Warmly,

    Ask Lynn