Ask Lynn Anything

Tag: friendship

  • Relationship Worry

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    There’s someone in my class that I’ve liked for a while now. We talk sometimes—nothing super deep, but enough that I get really happy when they’re around. They’re kind, funny, and easy to be around, which just makes my feelings stronger. The thing is, I can’t tell if they like me back or if they’re just being friendly. I overthink every little thing they say or do, trying to find clues.

    I really want to tell them how I feel, but I’m scared of ruining the friendship we’ve started to build. What if they don’t feel the same and things get awkward between us? I don’t want to push them away or make them uncomfortable. But at the same time, keeping this all inside is driving me crazy. I think about them constantly and feel like I’m stuck in this weird emotional limbo.

    Do you think it’s better to just be honest and get it off my chest, even if it risks the friendship? Or should I wait and try to enjoy what we have now without adding pressure? I’m torn between wanting clarity and fearing rejection. Any advice would really help.
    – Confused and Crushing

    Dear Confused and Crushing,

    Thank you for sharing your heart—it’s clear how much this person means to you, and your honesty is really brave. Having a crush can feel exciting and overwhelming all at once, especially when you’re unsure what the other person feels.

    It sounds like you’ve built a sweet connection already, which is a great foundation. If you feel safe and ready, gently being honest about your feelings could bring relief and clarity. You don’t have to make a grand confession—just something simple like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and I think I might like you as more than a friend. I don’t want to make things weird, but I wanted to be honest.”

    That way, you share your truth while still being respectful of their feelings and space.

    If you’re not quite ready, that’s okay too. You can keep spending time together and see if their actions give you more clues. Sometimes feelings become clearer with time.

    There’s no “right” choice here—only what feels most true to you. Whether you speak up now or wait a little, you’re doing great by being thoughtful and kind.

    Wishing you courage and clarity,
    Ask Lynn

  • Money Loaned

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need your advice. A few months ago, I loaned a good amount of money to my best friend. She promised she would pay me back, but it’s been months now and I haven’t seen a single dollar.

    What hurts more is that she hasn’t even tried to pay me back. She acts like the loan never happened. Meanwhile, I see her spending money on other things like shopping and going out, and it makes me feel taken advantage of.

    I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to let it go just to keep the peace. But another part of me feels like I need to say something, because it’s not fair or respectful.

    Should I bring it up, or just move on and count it as a lesson learned?

    Sincerely,
    Confused and Hurt

    Dear Confused and Hurt,

    First, I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. It’s painful when someone you trust doesn’t treat you with the same care and respect.

    You’re not wrong to feel hurt. Lending money to a friend is a big deal, and it should come with honesty and communication—especially when repayment is promised. Her silence and spending show a lack of respect, not just for your money but for your friendship.

    You have every right to bring it up. Be calm but clear. You can say something like, “I know things can be tight sometimes, but I wanted to check in about the money I lent you. Even a small payment or an update would mean a lot.”

    This gives her a chance to explain and possibly make things right. If she gets defensive or continues to brush it off, then you’ll have to decide if this friendship is still healthy for you.

    Whether or not she pays you back, use this experience to set clear boundaries in the future. Lending money to friends can work, but only when there’s mutual respect—and sadly, it sounds like that’s missing here.

    You deserve better.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn

  • Love and Loyalty

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’ve been friends with my best friend for many years—we’ve been through so much together. But ever since I started dating my current partner, things between us have changed. At first, I thought it was just an adjustment period. But now it’s clear she resents my relationship.

    She’s accused me of neglecting her, even though I still try to make time for our friendship. What hurts the most is that she’s made up lies about my partner and about me and even tried to sabotage our relationship more than once.

    I don’t want to lose her as a friend because I’ve known her for so long, but I’m also tired of defending myself and my relationship. It’s emotionally exhausting, and I feel stuck between someone I love and someone who used to be my biggest supporter.

    How do I move forward? Is it possible to save this friendship, or is it time to let go?

    Sincerely,
    Torn Between Love and Loyalty

    Dear Torn Between Love and Loyalty,

    First off, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s painful when someone who’s been a big part of your life turns against something that makes you happy.

    It sounds like your friend is acting out of jealousy and fear—maybe she feels left behind or replaced. That doesn’t excuse her behavior, especially if she’s spreading lies or trying to sabotage your relationship. That crosses a serious line.

    You’ve tried to be a good friend by staying in touch and including her, but friendship is a two-way street. If she can’t respect your choices or be happy for you, that’s not healthy.

    You might consider having one honest, calm conversation with her. Let her know you value the friendship but won’t tolerate manipulation or dishonesty. Set boundaries. If she continues to disrespect you or your relationship, it might be time to step away—even if it’s just for now.

    Losing a longtime friend is hard, but staying in a toxic dynamic is harder. Choose peace. Choose honesty. And choose the people who want to see you happy.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn