Ask Lynn Anything

Tag: friends

  • Secret, Surgery and Trust

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need help with a secret that’s eating me up inside.

    From the outside, I have the dream life. I’m married to a wonderful man, we have two beautiful children, a cozy farm filled with animals, and a life I share online as an influencer. I love our home, our rhythm, and everything we’ve built together. I truly do.

    But there’s something I’ve kept hidden — even from my husband. A while back, I got an IUD. I didn’t tell him because I knew he wanted more children, and I wasn’t ready for that. In truth, I don’t think I want any more. I felt that if I told him, it would crush him, or worse, cause cracks in our perfect life. So I just… kept it to myself.

    Now things have gotten complicated. The IUD has caused an infection in my uterus, and I’ve been told I need surgery. I feel like my secret is about to blow up everything — my marriage, my brand, my image. I’m terrified that my husband will see this as a betrayal. I’m scared my followers — who trust me and think I live this honest, wholesome life — will see me as a fraud.

    I feel stuck between the truth and the life I’ve worked so hard to protect. How do I tell my husband without losing his trust? And how do I face the people who follow me and believe in me, when I haven’t been fully honest?

    Please help. I don’t want to lose everything I love.

    — Torn Behind the Smile

    Dear Torn Behind the Smile,

    First, take a deep breath. You are not a fraud — you’re human. A woman trying to protect the life she loves, even if it meant making a hard choice in silence. That doesn’t make you a bad wife, mother, or person. It makes you real.

    Let’s start with your husband. Marriage is built on trust, and right now, that trust has a crack — not because you don’t love him, but because you were afraid. You feared that honesty would cost you happiness. But silence has its own price, and you’re paying it with guilt, pain, and fear.

    He deserves the truth. Not just about the IUD, but also about your fear of having more children. Tell him with your heart wide open. “I was scared. I thought I’d lose you or disappoint you. I made a choice to protect myself and our family, but I didn’t handle it the right way.” Let him see that this wasn’t done against him — it was about your own boundaries and health.

    As for your followers: you built a platform on sharing your life, not your perfection. Being vulnerable now may actually deepen their trust, not destroy it. You don’t owe them every detail, but you can say, “I’m going through something personal involving my health and womanhood. I’ve learned a lot about fear and truth, and I’ll share more when I’m ready.” You’d be surprised how many women will feel seen and supported because of your honesty.

    Finally, about losing everything: You might lose some people. But not the ones who matter — not the ones who truly care about you, the whole, beautiful, imperfect you.

    You haven’t ruined your life. You’ve reached a crossroads. And being brave now can bring healing not just to your body, but to your heart, your marriage, and your soul.

    With love and truth,
    — Ask Lynn

  • Relationship Worry

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    There’s someone in my class that I’ve liked for a while now. We talk sometimes—nothing super deep, but enough that I get really happy when they’re around. They’re kind, funny, and easy to be around, which just makes my feelings stronger. The thing is, I can’t tell if they like me back or if they’re just being friendly. I overthink every little thing they say or do, trying to find clues.

    I really want to tell them how I feel, but I’m scared of ruining the friendship we’ve started to build. What if they don’t feel the same and things get awkward between us? I don’t want to push them away or make them uncomfortable. But at the same time, keeping this all inside is driving me crazy. I think about them constantly and feel like I’m stuck in this weird emotional limbo.

    Do you think it’s better to just be honest and get it off my chest, even if it risks the friendship? Or should I wait and try to enjoy what we have now without adding pressure? I’m torn between wanting clarity and fearing rejection. Any advice would really help.
    – Confused and Crushing

    Dear Confused and Crushing,

    Thank you for sharing your heart—it’s clear how much this person means to you, and your honesty is really brave. Having a crush can feel exciting and overwhelming all at once, especially when you’re unsure what the other person feels.

    It sounds like you’ve built a sweet connection already, which is a great foundation. If you feel safe and ready, gently being honest about your feelings could bring relief and clarity. You don’t have to make a grand confession—just something simple like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and I think I might like you as more than a friend. I don’t want to make things weird, but I wanted to be honest.”

    That way, you share your truth while still being respectful of their feelings and space.

    If you’re not quite ready, that’s okay too. You can keep spending time together and see if their actions give you more clues. Sometimes feelings become clearer with time.

    There’s no “right” choice here—only what feels most true to you. Whether you speak up now or wait a little, you’re doing great by being thoughtful and kind.

    Wishing you courage and clarity,
    Ask Lynn

  • Love and Loyalty

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’ve been friends with my best friend for many years—we’ve been through so much together. But ever since I started dating my current partner, things between us have changed. At first, I thought it was just an adjustment period. But now it’s clear she resents my relationship.

    She’s accused me of neglecting her, even though I still try to make time for our friendship. What hurts the most is that she’s made up lies about my partner and about me and even tried to sabotage our relationship more than once.

    I don’t want to lose her as a friend because I’ve known her for so long, but I’m also tired of defending myself and my relationship. It’s emotionally exhausting, and I feel stuck between someone I love and someone who used to be my biggest supporter.

    How do I move forward? Is it possible to save this friendship, or is it time to let go?

    Sincerely,
    Torn Between Love and Loyalty

    Dear Torn Between Love and Loyalty,

    First off, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s painful when someone who’s been a big part of your life turns against something that makes you happy.

    It sounds like your friend is acting out of jealousy and fear—maybe she feels left behind or replaced. That doesn’t excuse her behavior, especially if she’s spreading lies or trying to sabotage your relationship. That crosses a serious line.

    You’ve tried to be a good friend by staying in touch and including her, but friendship is a two-way street. If she can’t respect your choices or be happy for you, that’s not healthy.

    You might consider having one honest, calm conversation with her. Let her know you value the friendship but won’t tolerate manipulation or dishonesty. Set boundaries. If she continues to disrespect you or your relationship, it might be time to step away—even if it’s just for now.

    Losing a longtime friend is hard, but staying in a toxic dynamic is harder. Choose peace. Choose honesty. And choose the people who want to see you happy.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn