Ask Lynn Anything

Tag: faith

  • Am I Enough

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m writing because I’m feeling very torn and confused. My husband recently brought up the idea of having a threesome. He says it’s something he’s always been curious about and thought it could be fun for us to explore together. He promises there would be rules—no emotional attachments, no contact with the other woman afterward, and that he wouldn’t even finish with her.

    But I’m really struggling with this. I keep thinking: what if he finds her more attractive? What if he wants her again after? Even with these rules, how can I fully trust that it would stay just a one-time thing?

    The idea makes me feel like I’m not enough for him—like he needs someone else to be satisfied, and that hurts. I’ve told him my concerns, but he insists it has nothing to do with me lacking anything and everything to do with “trying something new together.”

    Part of me wants to be open-minded, but I also don’t want to ignore my gut or hurt myself emotionally. I love my husband and want to keep our bond strong. What should I do?

    Sincerely,
    On the Fence

    Dear On the Fence,

    Thank you for your brave and honest letter. It takes courage to speak openly about something as vulnerable as this.

    Your concerns are completely valid. Threesomes—while fantasy for some—are a big deal in real relationships, especially when one partner feels unsure or insecure about the idea. It’s not just about sex; it’s about trust, emotional safety, and feeling valued.

    The fact that you’re feeling like you’re not enough is a huge red flag that this might not be the right step for you right now. Sex should bring you closer, not make you feel replaced or worried. No rule in the world can erase deep emotional doubts. Even with boundaries, human emotions are unpredictable—and yours matter most here.

    It’s also okay to ask your husband why he wants this, beyond the surface-level “trying something new.” Is it about excitement? Fantasy? Is he bored? Understanding the why might help you feel more secure—or it might tell you that this isn’t the right thing for your relationship.

    Ultimately, you don’t owe anyone—even your husband—a sexual experience that makes you feel unsafe, insecure, or anxious. If you’re on the fence, then the answer, for now, is no. Trust your gut. You can always revisit the idea later, but you can’t un-do it once it happens.

    You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. Your peace and emotional safety should come first. And if your husband truly values your bond, he will prioritize that too.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn

  • Secret, Surgery and Trust

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need help with a secret that’s eating me up inside.

    From the outside, I have the dream life. I’m married to a wonderful man, we have two beautiful children, a cozy farm filled with animals, and a life I share online as an influencer. I love our home, our rhythm, and everything we’ve built together. I truly do.

    But there’s something I’ve kept hidden — even from my husband. A while back, I got an IUD. I didn’t tell him because I knew he wanted more children, and I wasn’t ready for that. In truth, I don’t think I want any more. I felt that if I told him, it would crush him, or worse, cause cracks in our perfect life. So I just… kept it to myself.

    Now things have gotten complicated. The IUD has caused an infection in my uterus, and I’ve been told I need surgery. I feel like my secret is about to blow up everything — my marriage, my brand, my image. I’m terrified that my husband will see this as a betrayal. I’m scared my followers — who trust me and think I live this honest, wholesome life — will see me as a fraud.

    I feel stuck between the truth and the life I’ve worked so hard to protect. How do I tell my husband without losing his trust? And how do I face the people who follow me and believe in me, when I haven’t been fully honest?

    Please help. I don’t want to lose everything I love.

    — Torn Behind the Smile

    Dear Torn Behind the Smile,

    First, take a deep breath. You are not a fraud — you’re human. A woman trying to protect the life she loves, even if it meant making a hard choice in silence. That doesn’t make you a bad wife, mother, or person. It makes you real.

    Let’s start with your husband. Marriage is built on trust, and right now, that trust has a crack — not because you don’t love him, but because you were afraid. You feared that honesty would cost you happiness. But silence has its own price, and you’re paying it with guilt, pain, and fear.

    He deserves the truth. Not just about the IUD, but also about your fear of having more children. Tell him with your heart wide open. “I was scared. I thought I’d lose you or disappoint you. I made a choice to protect myself and our family, but I didn’t handle it the right way.” Let him see that this wasn’t done against him — it was about your own boundaries and health.

    As for your followers: you built a platform on sharing your life, not your perfection. Being vulnerable now may actually deepen their trust, not destroy it. You don’t owe them every detail, but you can say, “I’m going through something personal involving my health and womanhood. I’ve learned a lot about fear and truth, and I’ll share more when I’m ready.” You’d be surprised how many women will feel seen and supported because of your honesty.

    Finally, about losing everything: You might lose some people. But not the ones who matter — not the ones who truly care about you, the whole, beautiful, imperfect you.

    You haven’t ruined your life. You’ve reached a crossroads. And being brave now can bring healing not just to your body, but to your heart, your marriage, and your soul.

    With love and truth,
    — Ask Lynn

  • Cheating Spouse

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m writing because I’m feeling confused and hurt, and I don’t know what to do. Lately, I’ve started to suspect that my husband might be cheating on me. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but there are some signs I can’t ignore anymore.

    He stays late at work more often than he used to, and when I try to call or text, he doesn’t always answer. When he finally comes home, the first thing he does is take a shower — every single time, no matter how late it is. He still shows me affection, but something feels off. I can’t explain it, but I can sense a distance that wasn’t there before.

    He’s also started hiding his phone — keeping it face down, closing apps quickly when I walk in, or taking it with him everywhere, even to the bathroom. He goes on monthly business trips, and when I try to call him in the evenings, he’s often “busy” or doesn’t answer at all, even after dinner time.

    I haven’t confronted him directly because I’m scared of what he might say — or how he might react. I love him, but I also feel like I’m being lied to. I don’t want to be paranoid, but I also don’t want to be naïve.

    How do I handle this? How can I get to the truth without destroying our relationship if I’m wrong?

    Sincerely,
    Feeling Lost and Suspicious

    Dear Feeling Lost and Suspicious,

    First, I want to say — your feelings are valid. When you’ve been with someone for a long time, you can tell when something’s not right, even if nothing obvious has happened. Trust your instincts, but also be careful not to let fear take over without facts.

    The signs you described — staying late at work, being unavailable, hiding his phone, taking immediate showers, and being secretive — could point to something going on. But they don’t definitely mean he’s cheating. People can become distant or secretive for many reasons, including stress, depression, or even trying to plan a surprise.

    That said, if his behavior is hurting you or making you feel insecure, you don’t need to wait for “proof” to speak up. This is your marriage too, and you deserve emotional honesty and openness. Avoid accusing him. Instead, try something like: “I’ve been feeling like something’s changed between us. Can we talk about what’s going on?” Stay calm, focus on your feelings, and let him respond.

    If he brushes you off, becomes defensive, or continues acting secretive, that’s a red flag — not just about cheating, but about the health of your communication.

    You might also consider seeing a counselor (on your own or together) to help you sort through your emotions and decide what kind of relationship you want going forward.

    Whatever the truth is, you deserve peace of mind, not suspicion. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild — but open and honest conversation is the only place to start.

    Wishing you strength,
    — Ask Lynn

  • Frustrated Parent

    Frustrated Parent

    Dear Ask Lynn-

    I’m struggling with my teenage son, and I’m at a loss. He asks for my advice, but when I give it, he ignores it or does the opposite. He constantly pushes boundaries and acts like he’s already an adult who can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants—without any consequences.

    I try to talk to him calmly, but he either shuts down or argues. It feels like he just wants me to agree with him, not actually guide him. I want to keep our relationship strong, but I also need him to understand that actions have consequences and that I’m still his parent, not just a friend.

    How can I reach him without driving a bigger wedge between us? Is there a way to get through to a teen who thinks he already knows everything?

    Sincerely,

    Frustrated Parent

    Dear Frustrated Parent,

    First, you’re not alone. Many parents hit this wall during the teenage years. Teens are wired to push for independence—it’s part of becoming an adult. But it’s frustrating when they ask for advice only to ignore it.

    Here are a few things that might help:

    1. Shift from Lecturing to Listening: Instead of giving advice right away, ask him what he thinks first. Say something like, “What do you think you should do?” It builds trust and helps him learn decision-making.
    2. Pick Your Battles: If it’s not dangerous or harmful, let him make a few mistakes. Natural consequences are powerful teachers. It’s tough, but sometimes they learn more from failure than warnings.
    3. Set Boundaries, Not Control: Make sure the rules you set are clear, fair, and consistent. Teens still need limits—they just don’t want to feel controlled.
    4. Stay Calm: When he argues or shuts down, don’t match his energy. Stay calm. Let him know the door is always open to talk, even if he walks away now.
    5. Keep the Connection Strong: Find small, non-confrontational ways to connect—watch a show together, grab food, or talk about his interests. A strong relationship is the foundation for future influence.

    You’re doing more right than you think. Keep showing up with love and firmness. He may not say it now, but he hears you more than you realize.

    Warmly,

    Ask Lynn