Ask Lynn Anything

Category: All Other

  • Life Decisions

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    Graduation is coming up fast, and I feel completely lost. Everyone around me seems to have a clear plan—college, jobs, or some big dream they’re chasing. Meanwhile, I’m stuck trying to figure out what I even want. Some days I think I should take a gap year, other days I panic that I’ll fall behind if I don’t jump into something right away.

    I feel this pressure to “figure it all out” before time runs out, but I don’t feel ready. There are so many paths, and none of them feel completely right. I’m scared of choosing the wrong thing, but also scared of doing nothing and watching everyone else move on without me. The fear of falling behind is real.

    What can I do to start figuring out what direction to go? How do I stop comparing myself to others and find my own path? I want to feel excited about the future, but right now it just feels overwhelming.
    – Lost in the Crowd

    Dear Lost in the Crowd,
    First of all, take a deep breath. You’re not falling behind—you’re figuring things out, and that’s actually a brave thing to do. Despite what it may feel like, so many people are in the same boat. They might look like they’ve got it all together, but behind the scenes, they’re just as uncertain and nervous as you are. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no one “right” path to follow.

    It’s okay not to have a five-year plan. The important thing right now is to get curious about yourself. What excites you? What makes you feel alive, even just a little? Explore different interests, volunteer, take a class, travel if you can, or try a part-time job in something you’re mildly curious about. Sometimes the right path doesn’t show up until you take the first step, even if it’s a small one.

    You don’t have to rush. Let yourself try, fail, grow, and change. It’s all part of the process. Be kind to yourself and trust that not knowing everything right now is perfectly okay. You are not lost—you’re just beginning your journey, and that’s a powerful place to be.
    – Ask Lynn

  • Breastfeeding in Public

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m a new mom, and something happened recently that left me shocked and confused. I went out to eat at a restaurant with my baby. While we were there, my baby got hungry, so I breastfed him. I was fully covered the entire time — no breast was showing at all.

    A few minutes later, the manager came over and said some customers had complained. He asked me to stop or leave. I tried to calmly explain that I have the legal right to breastfeed my baby, especially since I was covered and discreet. But he insisted that he “has the right to refuse service to anyone” and said I needed to go.

    I was humiliated and left in tears.

    I thought I was doing the right thing — feeding my baby when he needed it, in a respectful way. I didn’t make a scene. I wasn’t trying to offend anyone. I don’t understand how something as natural and necessary as feeding a child can make people uncomfortable.

    What should I do? Do I report this? Speak out? Or just let it go?

    Sincerely,
    Shamed for Feeding My Baby

    Dear Shamed for Feeding My Baby,

    First, I’m so sorry you went through that. What happened to you was not just humiliating — it was wrong.

    You are absolutely within your rights. In most U.S. states (and many countries), it is 100% legal to breastfeed in public — covered or not. You were feeding your baby in a respectful, discreet manner, and you should not have been asked to leave.

    The manager was misinformed. Yes, businesses can refuse service in some cases, but not when it involves discrimination — and forcing a mother out for breastfeeding is exactly that.

    You have options:

    1. File a complaint. Contact the restaurant’s corporate office or owner. Let them know what happened and that you felt discriminated against.
    2. Report it. Many states have civil rights divisions where you can report incidents like this. A local breastfeeding advocacy group or La Leche League chapter may also help guide you.
    3. Share your story. If you feel up to it, speaking out — whether in a review, on social media, or in a letter to the editor — can help raise awareness and protect other moms.
    4. Know you did nothing wrong. Your baby needed to eat. You fed them with love and care. You don’t owe anyone an apology for that.

    You were not “shamed for feeding your baby” — you were brave. And every time a mother stands up for this right, it helps break down stigma a little more.

    With support and solidarity,
    — Ask Lynn

  • Money Loaned

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need your advice. A few months ago, I loaned a good amount of money to my best friend. She promised she would pay me back, but it’s been months now and I haven’t seen a single dollar.

    What hurts more is that she hasn’t even tried to pay me back. She acts like the loan never happened. Meanwhile, I see her spending money on other things like shopping and going out, and it makes me feel taken advantage of.

    I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to let it go just to keep the peace. But another part of me feels like I need to say something, because it’s not fair or respectful.

    Should I bring it up, or just move on and count it as a lesson learned?

    Sincerely,
    Confused and Hurt

    Dear Confused and Hurt,

    First, I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. It’s painful when someone you trust doesn’t treat you with the same care and respect.

    You’re not wrong to feel hurt. Lending money to a friend is a big deal, and it should come with honesty and communication—especially when repayment is promised. Her silence and spending show a lack of respect, not just for your money but for your friendship.

    You have every right to bring it up. Be calm but clear. You can say something like, “I know things can be tight sometimes, but I wanted to check in about the money I lent you. Even a small payment or an update would mean a lot.”

    This gives her a chance to explain and possibly make things right. If she gets defensive or continues to brush it off, then you’ll have to decide if this friendship is still healthy for you.

    Whether or not she pays you back, use this experience to set clear boundaries in the future. Lending money to friends can work, but only when there’s mutual respect—and sadly, it sounds like that’s missing here.

    You deserve better.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn