Ask Lynn Anything

Author: AskLynnAnything

  • Cheating Spouse

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m writing because I’m feeling confused and hurt, and I don’t know what to do. Lately, I’ve started to suspect that my husband might be cheating on me. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but there are some signs I can’t ignore anymore.

    He stays late at work more often than he used to, and when I try to call or text, he doesn’t always answer. When he finally comes home, the first thing he does is take a shower — every single time, no matter how late it is. He still shows me affection, but something feels off. I can’t explain it, but I can sense a distance that wasn’t there before.

    He’s also started hiding his phone — keeping it face down, closing apps quickly when I walk in, or taking it with him everywhere, even to the bathroom. He goes on monthly business trips, and when I try to call him in the evenings, he’s often “busy” or doesn’t answer at all, even after dinner time.

    I haven’t confronted him directly because I’m scared of what he might say — or how he might react. I love him, but I also feel like I’m being lied to. I don’t want to be paranoid, but I also don’t want to be naïve.

    How do I handle this? How can I get to the truth without destroying our relationship if I’m wrong?

    Sincerely,
    Feeling Lost and Suspicious

    Dear Feeling Lost and Suspicious,

    First, I want to say — your feelings are valid. When you’ve been with someone for a long time, you can tell when something’s not right, even if nothing obvious has happened. Trust your instincts, but also be careful not to let fear take over without facts.

    The signs you described — staying late at work, being unavailable, hiding his phone, taking immediate showers, and being secretive — could point to something going on. But they don’t definitely mean he’s cheating. People can become distant or secretive for many reasons, including stress, depression, or even trying to plan a surprise.

    That said, if his behavior is hurting you or making you feel insecure, you don’t need to wait for “proof” to speak up. This is your marriage too, and you deserve emotional honesty and openness. Avoid accusing him. Instead, try something like: “I’ve been feeling like something’s changed between us. Can we talk about what’s going on?” Stay calm, focus on your feelings, and let him respond.

    If he brushes you off, becomes defensive, or continues acting secretive, that’s a red flag — not just about cheating, but about the health of your communication.

    You might also consider seeing a counselor (on your own or together) to help you sort through your emotions and decide what kind of relationship you want going forward.

    Whatever the truth is, you deserve peace of mind, not suspicion. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild — but open and honest conversation is the only place to start.

    Wishing you strength,
    — Ask Lynn

  • School/Work Stress

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    I’m really struggling with keeping up with everything right now. Between school, homework, and a part-time job, I barely have time to sleep, let alone relax or hang out with friends. I’m trying so hard to do it all, but it’s starting to feel impossible. My grades are slipping, I’m always tired, and I’m feeling completely burnt out.

    I took the job to help pay for things and save for the future, so quitting doesn’t feel like an option. But I’m starting to wonder if the stress is worth it. I’ve tried making schedules and being more organized, but there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to fit everything in. I’m falling behind in school and losing my energy and motivation.

    How do I find a balance between responsibilities and my own well-being? I don’t want to let anyone down, but I also know I can’t keep living like this. I need some advice on how to manage my time and maybe find a healthier way to handle everything.
    – Overwhelmed Teen

    Dear Overwhelmed Teen,

    First, thank you for being so honest—what you’re feeling is completely valid. It sounds like you’re doing your best, and that matters more than you know.

    Trying to juggle school, a job, and life is a huge load, especially at your age. Burnout happens when you push yourself too hard for too long. It’s okay to admit that something has to give.

    Start by asking yourself what’s most important right now. Is there any way to reduce your work hours, even a little? Could you talk to your boss, a teacher, or a school counselor about how much you’re handling?

    You’re not failing—you’re human. You need rest to succeed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, set boundaries, and say no to extra things that aren’t essential.

    Remember, your well-being is a responsibility too. You deserve time to breathe, sleep, and smile.

    You’re not alone in this.

    – Ask Lynn

  • Family Issue

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    Lately, I’ve been feeling like my parents just don’t get me. When I try to talk to them about what I’m going through—like stress from school or feeling anxious—they either change the subject, make jokes, or tell me I’m overthinking everything. It’s frustrating because I’m not trying to be dramatic—I just want to feel heard and understood.

    The more they brush me off, the less I want to open up. I keep things to myself now because I feel like there’s no point. But deep down, I still wish I could have a closer relationship with them. I see other people who can talk to their parents like friends, and I wish I had that too. I don’t want to shut them out, but I also don’t want to keep feeling ignored.

    How can I help them understand how serious this is for me? I want to find a way to talk to them that won’t lead to eye-rolls or quick dismissals. Is there a better way to get them to listen and maybe even start a real conversation?
    – Feeling Unheard

    Dear Feeling Unheard,

    Thank you for opening up—it takes a lot of courage to share how you’re feeling. You’re not being dramatic at all. What you’re experiencing is real and important, and you deserve to feel heard and supported.

    It sounds like your parents might not fully understand what you’re going through, maybe because they don’t know how to respond or think they’re helping by downplaying it. But your feelings matter, and it’s okay to want a deeper connection.

    One idea is to pick a calm moment—when no one’s stressed or distracted—and gently let them know how their reactions affect you. You might say something like, “I know you care about me, but when I open up and feel brushed off, it makes me want to shut down. I’m not looking for fixes—I just need to feel like you hear me.”

    You could even write them a letter if talking feels too hard. Sometimes people listen better when they can read without the pressure of reacting right away.

    Also, is there another adult you trust—like a teacher, counselor, or family friend—who might help you express your feelings or guide a conversation with your parents? You’re not alone, and there are people who can help bridge the gap.

    Don’t give up on that closer relationship. Change can be slow, but small, honest steps can open doors.

    You’re doing your best—and that’s something to be proud of.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn

  • Relationship Worry

    Dear Ask Lynn,
    There’s someone in my class that I’ve liked for a while now. We talk sometimes—nothing super deep, but enough that I get really happy when they’re around. They’re kind, funny, and easy to be around, which just makes my feelings stronger. The thing is, I can’t tell if they like me back or if they’re just being friendly. I overthink every little thing they say or do, trying to find clues.

    I really want to tell them how I feel, but I’m scared of ruining the friendship we’ve started to build. What if they don’t feel the same and things get awkward between us? I don’t want to push them away or make them uncomfortable. But at the same time, keeping this all inside is driving me crazy. I think about them constantly and feel like I’m stuck in this weird emotional limbo.

    Do you think it’s better to just be honest and get it off my chest, even if it risks the friendship? Or should I wait and try to enjoy what we have now without adding pressure? I’m torn between wanting clarity and fearing rejection. Any advice would really help.
    – Confused and Crushing

    Dear Confused and Crushing,

    Thank you for sharing your heart—it’s clear how much this person means to you, and your honesty is really brave. Having a crush can feel exciting and overwhelming all at once, especially when you’re unsure what the other person feels.

    It sounds like you’ve built a sweet connection already, which is a great foundation. If you feel safe and ready, gently being honest about your feelings could bring relief and clarity. You don’t have to make a grand confession—just something simple like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and I think I might like you as more than a friend. I don’t want to make things weird, but I wanted to be honest.”

    That way, you share your truth while still being respectful of their feelings and space.

    If you’re not quite ready, that’s okay too. You can keep spending time together and see if their actions give you more clues. Sometimes feelings become clearer with time.

    There’s no “right” choice here—only what feels most true to you. Whether you speak up now or wait a little, you’re doing great by being thoughtful and kind.

    Wishing you courage and clarity,
    Ask Lynn

  • Advice from Colorado

    7/8/2024 – Always drink lots of water, the altitude sneaks up on you. Don’t rush, our mountains teach patience.

  • Advice from Vegas

    4/18/2024 – Don’t wait for the perfect time, it rarely comes. Start small, start now!

    4/27/2024 – Always talk about yourself kindly. You are always listening more than anyone else.

    5/5/2024 – No te compares con los demas. Cada quien tiene su propio Camino y ritmo

  • Money Loaned

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I need your advice. A few months ago, I loaned a good amount of money to my best friend. She promised she would pay me back, but it’s been months now and I haven’t seen a single dollar.

    What hurts more is that she hasn’t even tried to pay me back. She acts like the loan never happened. Meanwhile, I see her spending money on other things like shopping and going out, and it makes me feel taken advantage of.

    I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to let it go just to keep the peace. But another part of me feels like I need to say something, because it’s not fair or respectful.

    Should I bring it up, or just move on and count it as a lesson learned?

    Sincerely,
    Confused and Hurt

    Dear Confused and Hurt,

    First, I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. It’s painful when someone you trust doesn’t treat you with the same care and respect.

    You’re not wrong to feel hurt. Lending money to a friend is a big deal, and it should come with honesty and communication—especially when repayment is promised. Her silence and spending show a lack of respect, not just for your money but for your friendship.

    You have every right to bring it up. Be calm but clear. You can say something like, “I know things can be tight sometimes, but I wanted to check in about the money I lent you. Even a small payment or an update would mean a lot.”

    This gives her a chance to explain and possibly make things right. If she gets defensive or continues to brush it off, then you’ll have to decide if this friendship is still healthy for you.

    Whether or not she pays you back, use this experience to set clear boundaries in the future. Lending money to friends can work, but only when there’s mutual respect—and sadly, it sounds like that’s missing here.

    You deserve better.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn

  • Hopeful Author

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    Hi! My name is June, and I really want to write a book, but I don’t know where to start. I have lots of ideas in my head, but when I sit down to write, I get stuck.

    Can you please give me some advice on how to begin? Should I plan everything first, or just start writing? Also, how do I keep going when I feel like giving up?

    Thank you so much for your help!

    Sincerely,
    Hopeful Author

    Dear Hopeful Author,

    Thank you for your letter! I’m so excited that you want to write a book—what a wonderful goal!

    Here’s some simple advice to get you started:

    1. Just begin. Don’t worry about being perfect. Start writing your idea, even if it’s messy. You can always fix it later.
    2. Make a plan. Try writing a short outline of your story. It can help you know where you’re going, like a map.
    3. Write a little each day. Even 10 minutes is enough. Small steps add up!
    4. Don’t give up. All writers feel stuck sometimes. When that happens, take a break, read a book you love, or write something silly just for fun.

    Most of all—believe in your story. The world needs your voice.

    Keep writing,
    Ask Lynn

  • Love and Loyalty

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’ve been friends with my best friend for many years—we’ve been through so much together. But ever since I started dating my current partner, things between us have changed. At first, I thought it was just an adjustment period. But now it’s clear she resents my relationship.

    She’s accused me of neglecting her, even though I still try to make time for our friendship. What hurts the most is that she’s made up lies about my partner and about me and even tried to sabotage our relationship more than once.

    I don’t want to lose her as a friend because I’ve known her for so long, but I’m also tired of defending myself and my relationship. It’s emotionally exhausting, and I feel stuck between someone I love and someone who used to be my biggest supporter.

    How do I move forward? Is it possible to save this friendship, or is it time to let go?

    Sincerely,
    Torn Between Love and Loyalty

    Dear Torn Between Love and Loyalty,

    First off, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s painful when someone who’s been a big part of your life turns against something that makes you happy.

    It sounds like your friend is acting out of jealousy and fear—maybe she feels left behind or replaced. That doesn’t excuse her behavior, especially if she’s spreading lies or trying to sabotage your relationship. That crosses a serious line.

    You’ve tried to be a good friend by staying in touch and including her, but friendship is a two-way street. If she can’t respect your choices or be happy for you, that’s not healthy.

    You might consider having one honest, calm conversation with her. Let her know you value the friendship but won’t tolerate manipulation or dishonesty. Set boundaries. If she continues to disrespect you or your relationship, it might be time to step away—even if it’s just for now.

    Losing a longtime friend is hard, but staying in a toxic dynamic is harder. Choose peace. Choose honesty. And choose the people who want to see you happy.

    Warmly,
    Ask Lynn

  • Spicing Things Up

    Dear Ask Lynn,

    I’m hoping you can help me with something that’s been on my mind. I’ve been married for several years now, and I really do love my husband deeply. We have a good relationship, and our sex life has always been satisfying, but lately I’ve been wondering how to spice things up.

    The thing is—I’ve never been someone who ventures too far outside my comfort zone. I’ve always been pretty traditional when it comes to intimacy. But my husband makes me feel safe and adventurous in a way I never expected. I’ve been surprised to find myself enjoying new things I never thought I would. It’s opened a whole new world for me, but at the same time, I don’t always know where to go from here.

    When I watch movies or TV shows, everything looks so exciting and perfect—but I know real life isn’t like that. Still, I can tell my husband enjoys exploring and trying new things, and I want to keep that connection strong. I just don’t know what to do next. I’m open to ideas, but I don’t really know what all is even out there.

    How can I keep our sex life exciting and fresh, while still staying true to myself? I want to grow and explore with him, but sometimes I feel unsure or inexperienced.

    Any advice?

    —Curious but Cautious

    Dear Curious but Cautious,

    First of all, thank you for your openness. You’ve already done something brave by putting your feelings into words—and that says a lot about your willingness to grow, especially with someone you love and trust.

    It’s beautiful that your husband makes you feel safe enough to explore. That’s the kind of connection many couples hope for. You’re not alone in feeling uncertain when it comes to trying new things. Intimacy can be exciting, but also vulnerable—and that’s okay.

    Here’s the good news: you don’t need a checklist of “spicy” ideas to be a great partner. The real magic happens when both people are curious, communicative, and respectful of each other’s limits and desires. Since you’re already enjoying trying new things, start small. Share fantasies (even silly ones), try a new setting or mood, play a light game that encourages flirtation. You don’t have to dive into anything extreme to keep things fresh.

    And don’t worry about matching what you see on TV or in movies—that’s scripted, edited, and not always realistic. What matters is what feels fun and real for you two. If you ever feel unsure, just talk to your husband about it. You might be surprised how open and understanding he’ll be—and how many ideas you can come up with together.

    Let this be a journey you take hand-in-hand, with laughter, tenderness, and permission to figure things out as you go.

    With care,
    Ask Lynn