Family Issue

Dear Ask Lynn,
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my parents just don’t get me. When I try to talk to them about what I’m going through—like stress from school or feeling anxious—they either change the subject, make jokes, or tell me I’m overthinking everything. It’s frustrating because I’m not trying to be dramatic—I just want to feel heard and understood.

The more they brush me off, the less I want to open up. I keep things to myself now because I feel like there’s no point. But deep down, I still wish I could have a closer relationship with them. I see other people who can talk to their parents like friends, and I wish I had that too. I don’t want to shut them out, but I also don’t want to keep feeling ignored.

How can I help them understand how serious this is for me? I want to find a way to talk to them that won’t lead to eye-rolls or quick dismissals. Is there a better way to get them to listen and maybe even start a real conversation?
– Feeling Unheard

Dear Feeling Unheard,

Thank you for opening up—it takes a lot of courage to share how you’re feeling. You’re not being dramatic at all. What you’re experiencing is real and important, and you deserve to feel heard and supported.

It sounds like your parents might not fully understand what you’re going through, maybe because they don’t know how to respond or think they’re helping by downplaying it. But your feelings matter, and it’s okay to want a deeper connection.

One idea is to pick a calm moment—when no one’s stressed or distracted—and gently let them know how their reactions affect you. You might say something like, “I know you care about me, but when I open up and feel brushed off, it makes me want to shut down. I’m not looking for fixes—I just need to feel like you hear me.”

You could even write them a letter if talking feels too hard. Sometimes people listen better when they can read without the pressure of reacting right away.

Also, is there another adult you trust—like a teacher, counselor, or family friend—who might help you express your feelings or guide a conversation with your parents? You’re not alone, and there are people who can help bridge the gap.

Don’t give up on that closer relationship. Change can be slow, but small, honest steps can open doors.

You’re doing your best—and that’s something to be proud of.

With care,
Ask Lynn